A new post, firstly I must welcome all the comments based on my previous posts and my blog so far. Really fucking useful considering you didn't leave it in the comment section. texts get deleted, emails also but comments stay forever. Remember that or i'll forget you, nah I'm only joking. How could I forget you guys? Without you I have no target audience so until my blogs popularity grows I'll keep you in mind.
Well I've had a bit of writers block recently, mainly because someone said I have a good writing style and it was a great blog. This uncalled for and unnecessary pressure has resulted in me waking up in cold sweats on a night and consistently, involuntarily throwing up whenever I sit down in front of this here screen. I feel like I've had my first review and now every blog from here on is essentially contributing to my version of a second album. We all know how disastrous they can be, will my style change, will the amount of drugs I consumed after the success of my original posts result in a disjointed, but creatively astounding follow up? We'll see, but I can guarantee it will be better than 'The Second Coming' by the Stone Roses. What was that about?



So Egypt again, I'm currently having to decide where my future lies next year. Do I stay at my current position, I am settled admittedly but there are many problems or do I leave for that school situated on that beatiful green green grass over on the other side of the fence? I'm aware that I am somebody who is constantly seeking fresh starts, I say its because I like to regenerate myself but thats bullshit, I'm not Dr Who. No matter where I go I'm still the same person and no matter how many times I introduce myself to people that will not change. Its something I will have to confront otherwise I'm going to have a lot of very expensive divorces in my future years. Basically I'm not ready, my adventure here is still in its infancy, I haven't mastered the language, in fact my progress has stuttered a little bit in recent times. I have become a little lazy in the last few weeks. I dont want this to be the case but I lose a bit of motivation at times, bear in mind that it is fucking hard! But I hope to get back on the lexical saddle soon, maybe even starting with tonight. In fact why am I wasting my time writing this blog when I don't know how to conjugate verbs in the present continuous, its madness.

I've recently been on holiday, down to the south of Egypt, a place known as Aswan in an area known as Upper Egypt. Its only experienced rain once in about 15 years I was told, sorry whats the weather like in England again? Anyway the reason for the visit was my father arrived here for a stay, mainly as he was hell bent on confusing every Egyptian he came across by telling them that I was his son. Every one of them either cracked up laughing in front of him or gave him a look to say 'what you think you're funny, that we're stupid and we cant see the obvious difference between you, fuck off you English colonial bastard' or maybe thats what they were thinking I'm not really sure. Anyway it did work in our favour as one night at a restaurant we visited. He was given an English menu, following which i was given an Arabic one, with the prices of everything a third of the anglocized version. Needless to say he didn't tell that particular establishment we were related. Another amusing moment came when we were picturing monuments on the proviso we would give some baksheesh(a tip) to our self-appointed guide, it seemed like we were continously handing out money to this bloke despite the fact he really wasn't helping us at all. As I said my Arabic isn't great yet but he would spout something to me about the Pharoahs and wait for me to translate it to my father, of course i didn't want to lose face so i basically just made a load of shit up in my translation. I think i should have got some baksheesh for my creativity.





We've had our first week back at school and already I'm counting the weeks till my next holiday. Never understimate how boring marking copybooks is, 50 children, 7 books each, all need marking every week. so utterly utterly long i can't take it. still it is better than being in an office in East London taking shit from a load of cockney site managers who can't wait to get you off the phone, god that job was soul destroying. Anyway there has been some good sides to being back at school, I got to see my admirer. Not the crazy one, the less said about her the better. No this one is who I teach English too in my spare time, she is ultra ultra sweet. She brings me food, and when I asked her if she liked my haircut she said that I looked beautiful and that i looked beautiful every day. I was going to tell her that you say handsome to men, but you know what? I think I prefer beautiful, rolls off the tongue better. Anyway the latest is that she told me she had dreamed about me two nights in a row. That definitely shocked me a bit. I don't think a girl has ever said that to me, people might say I have an answer for everything but on this occasion I was actually speechless. What do you say to that?





I'm literally just about to book my ticket back to blighty, for June 20th, that bit isn't the important bit. What is is the return and what will happen. Will there be ever be a complete return? I can safely say there is no doubt I'll be coming back to this country after my holiday, its my home in many ways more than England ever was. I don't mean that as a negative comment about England, but I can do things here that I wouldn't have had the mental strength to do back home. Things designed to make me a better person, at least in my eyes. All these vices that have fucked up my life in the past have been left in London, there was no room in my metaphorical suitcase. I don't act like a twat too much over here, and at least when i do i do it consciously with all my senses in full working order. The lack of control I excercised on almost a weekly basis is conspicous by its absence. I do know however that at the moment I'm not strong enough to continue it when I return. But I'm getting there. I'm back for six weeks, if I allow myself to act like a drunken, self destructive fool for 10% of the year then that aint too shabby. To be fair sometimes you do need a break from being good. So what I'm saying is don't worry, I won't be completely different when I return, I'll still be the obnoxious, arrogant, loud mouthed guy continuously saying and doing totally inappropriate things. in fact it might be worse, after all, the time allocated to such behaviour has been seriously compressed.



I must say teaching, despite all the issues that come with it is actually a bit of a laugh and it definitely softens your heart a bit and shows you that people aren't all bad. There is something very refreshing about working with children, the lack of cynicism in their voices perhaps. Whatever it is its certainly a step in the right direction from my last jobs. I've never had a boy immitate my hair cut before, or get told I'm sweet or get hugs in the morning or smily stickers for being a good teacher. I get notes from the kids saying they love me. Its so cute! Definitely makes it worthwhile and I'll have more stories from my work here in a year than I ever did working 9-5 in London. The fact that some of them have started to speak English with my accent is probably the coolest thing, I might even start throwing in some slang words as I near the end of my contract, I can see it now... 'Mr Michael, Allow this homework flex!' or even 'Mr Michael! Ahmed is totally rinsin me!'

Alright I'm on my way. I have an English lesson with the girl who likes to dream about me. I dont want her running out of material, I'm also gonna ask her if in her dream I speak in Arabic or English. It would be nice to know that somewhere I'm fluent in this language.

Actually I think I'm gonna talk about this girl a little bit more, as its probably the most interesting thing thats happened to me so far and its something that I've been thinking about quite a lot recently. I have already explained that the norm here is to get married when you like someone and all parties are satisfied(family etc. thats another story) and that has started to enter my thoughts process when thinking about relationships. Will this girl make a good wife? Would she ever cheat on me? Will we still get on in 30 years? Yes its all been in my head, ironic for a person who's barely ventured beyond the two month limit relationship wise. I think I'm starting to think this because it doesn't seem like relationships are particularly easy here without at least the promise of marriage. However I won't be doing anything vindictive or deceitful. A former friend here(American-Egyptian) told me he engaged five women here just to get them into bed. Thats pretty fucked up, even in my opinion and I've commited some rather questionable acts myself regarding the opposite sex, but less of that now. So this girl, am I thinking of marrying her just because I want a relationship with her, essentially put a ring on her finger just to get the green light to go out with her? If this was England there would be no question we'd be in a relationship, no question. We get on too well and its pretty clear we fancy eachother, she brings me food almost daily and i get her things too. Plus the English lessons we have, the dreams, we tell eachother we're beautiful and she's coming with me to the dentist tomorrow. Actually, come to think of it, are we going out already? I guess we might be, without anything happening which in a way is actually quite sweet. But alas, fear not. I'm clearly too much of a coward to ask anyone to be marrying me anytime soon. Plus I think I should probably actually maintain any sort of long term relationship first rather than go from a two month maximum to a lifetime commitment in one fell swoop.

Right that really is all. Remember to love one another except your friends girlfriend/boyfriend.
Also sign up to my blog you lazy pricks. There shall be no more reminders on facebook. I'm looking at you Kamal. I'll be putting up some more pictures in the next couple of days, some proper wicked ones as well. I know your attention spans need it.

Salaam